Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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