Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
