Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
