The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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