I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize