Only a mothe r could love this liver
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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