It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
