32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize