yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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