How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
