Your tits are I can't wait for
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
