All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
