Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
