I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
