hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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