they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
