she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
