i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
