do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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