mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
