your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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