Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
