Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize