She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
