I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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