No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize