come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
