Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
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just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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