I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
