oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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