shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
