you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize