Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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