I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just invented taco cereal.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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