Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
