just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
