I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
