you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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