guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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