I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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