Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
