if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
