wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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