u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
