What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
