I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
