hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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