**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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