I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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