How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
