Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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