dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have tasted many bathrooms
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
