How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize