the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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