Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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