I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
