My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Welp...herpes.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
